Sta.sh
Sympathy ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello my lovelies,
Things have gotten better for me, especially since school is over for the summer. My health has improved greatly and I can actually eat something without wanting to throw it all up.
It feels good to eat like a normal person. Back when I was sick, I was lucky if I was able to keep one meal down. Even if I kept one meal down, I would actually get stomach pains and feel that need to throw up what I ate...it's not a fun feeling, believe me. And that's only half of my health issues that I have had to deal with.
Like I said before, it's nothing I can't handle...although I can definitely say that I don't ever want to deal with it...again.
I'm spending some needed quality time with my family in LA and I hope that I will be able to come back again so I can work with some awesome photographers. I've gotten enough requests to come back here again, so I will need to see what I can do for my friendly photographers
Also, apparently my mother, who loves me so dearly and understands my obsession with Batman, decided to go shopping without me...and ended up finding a Batman Eyeglasses Case just for me. My reaction to seeing such an awesome gift was priceless...and I decided to forgive my mother for going shopping without me
On a random note, I think a lot of models go through some personal tribulations just to go as far as they want to in the industry. I have a girlfriend (she wants to remain anonymous) who is going through that same issue that every model goes through. I think every model has that moment in their life where they don't feel good enough to even model for photographers. It could be for multiple reasons, from self-confidence issues to not having an extensive background or portfolio. Most photographers would rather have you pay rather than work TF* because they just see you as another pretty girl trying to make it in the industry.
And then comes the most tribulating question for every girl: is there something wrong with me?
On that question, I decided to dedicate this post to her because I know she always likes reading my random rants and gets a good laugh out of what I write at the top of my head. I just hope that this little letter I've written (or typed, if you want to get technical) to her will make her happy.
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Girl, I've been there before. You base your self worth on how photographers or designers can use you or how much profit you can give these money grabbers. Thinking so low on yourself that you can't even see the profit that you have given the world around you - or the profit you have given yourself.
This is a large industry and it's even larger now thanks to the internet. These people usually think about one thing: money. These people will rarely consider your feelings because they only see another pretty girl. They only see how they can use you for their own profit rather than see the beautiful woman that I see everyday when I look at those photos.
I've been let down by photographers, designers and plenty of other people in this cutthroat industry. They will rarely consider your feelings and will only seek to criticize you rather than see the positive aspects of your own soul. You can't seek your self worth in these people - you can only find it in yourself.
You have to make them see something that you see in yourself. Your individuality is what needs to stand out, and that is what you need to show in your work. It's not easy to find happiness within yourself, but you sure as hell are not gonna find it anywhere else in this world. You hold your life in your hands, so utilize it as much as you can to the highest extent.
And you have to remember: not one person is always the same. One photographer does not define the whole industry. One designer does not label the entire business. One model does not exemplify the definition of beauty for us. That's why there are numerous interpretations of what beauty is. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but not everyone will have that same eye for beauty.
So give the world something unique, even if the world won't remember you. Don't do this so you can be remembered - do this because you want to show that you have lived a life that you love.
